52:04 by ChristianLeBlanc
Not too impressed with this one, but, one of my goals with this project was to just do a song each week, and not waste a whole lot of time fussing over a track. With that in mind, I'm more than happy to get a D- on this assignment and move on :)
Musically, the ingredients were all there, but I just had trouble structuring everything effectively. Maybe it's a case where it would have worked better with a longer song? I don't know.
Lyrically: not much to see here either. The words mean nothing, only chosen because they fit the rhythm, and because I wanted to try singing something slightly more complicated (note-wise) than I'm used to. I attempted to cover them up, then, with reverb and delay. I didn't believe in the track enough to put any more effort into it (backing vocals, etc).
"You start with the last one, you're gonna get hurt.
You start with the first one, it's gonna get worse.
You start with the last one, you start with the first one,
You mess with the next one, to see how it works.
You start with the last one, you start with the first one,
You fuck with the next one, to see how it works."
Next week: 5/4 time!
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The very first thing that struck me about this one (and probably what I loved most about it) is the swing feel in the rhythm. Very cool. I find sometimes I have a bad habit of just sticking to standard 4/4 rock rhythms (kick-snare-kick-snare....), but when you make yourself break away from your comfort zone, and try new things, that's often when you come up with your best stuff.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I loved the swing of this one, and that little sequence that you bring in at 0:16 really gives the track a nice fluidity. The only thing I had trouble with is that it seemed like there was too much going on towards the end. Your voice was sounding good, but when all these various melodies started coming in, it seemed a bit too cluttered. However, having said that, if you ever expanded this into a full length song, I do find sometimes it can be cool to have the song "explode" with sounds at the very end...kind of "going out with a bang".
Anyway, good track!
I like the drums in this one (especially the snare and hats.) I'd probably soften up the attack of the kick drum a bit. I heard some good singing when the vocals came in, but agree that everything else coming in made it feel cluttered or jumbled.
ReplyDeleteC.S. Graves
ReplyDeleteAgain, my critique will be mostly on a timbral/effects level. I think that tinkly FM sound could go up an octave or two, so as not to compete with your voice and other mid-range frequencies. Also not sure about that "synth woodwind" for choice of patch. I'd try either different patches for the same melodic line, or drench the existing line in so much reverb that it softens the creaky quality down. The delay on your vocals is a little distracting, though on the other hand, it has the feel of a "one man round". Could probably stand to be turned down a bit till the main vocal line becomes predominant to the ear. Alternately, if you have some way to have the delay affect only the last one or two syllables of each line, that might work. Sorry, I don't have the know-how to critique the "song structure". Also, it's tough to say anything about a 1 minute piece of music if one considers that it may be enough time for an intro and a first verse.