Boy am I tired. I wonder if that had anything to do with the lyrics this week (hint: YES).
Would like to have added, oh, I dunno, DRUMS this week, but I had a CGA project due Friday, and I have a CGA exam coming up this Thursday. So, I'm fine with it as it is :) (That's also my excuse for singing the same lyrics twice)
Production details: other than the bass drum, did everything on the Moog this week. The main buzzy synth was whipped up from scratch, and the higher-pitched line was a tweaking of a preset. So, I'm starting to get a bit better at coming up with sounds on my own, I think?
Also of note: again, other than the bass drum, I played everything live into the computer, no programming. I'm not sure if you know, but there are some electronic bands who will say in the liner notes, or maybe even on the back of the album, that they played everything live, no programming.
I know they're just trying to explain that they know how to play an instrument, but to me, it just seems like bragging about not knowing how to do something. In terms of listening to a pre-recorded track, I don't care if something was played live, or if everything was programmed, or cut and pasted to great lengths, whatever. So long as it sounds good. Feel free to comment if you agree/disagree.
"No more instance of idle eyes here
Never rest like it used to be
After a while you must get tired, dear
Close your head and count to sleep
In a minute we will retire here
Sixty seconds until we're free
Until that moment we'll pass the time here
Killing time quite recklessly"
I tried using a deep voice early on in the project, but I think that this sounds a lot more natural (although I fear it still has a touch of 'girl comedian talking in a deep voice for humourous effect' going on). I don't know the difference between a bass singer and a baritone, but I've always loved the voices of singers like Brad Roberts (Crash Test Dummies), Elijah Allman (Deadsy) and now, thanks to Coco's influence, Stephin Merritt (The Magnetic Fields).
Lyrically, I really like dropping 'sudoku' out of nowhere. Not only does it keep this song from being 'same old same old' outta me, but it also helps trivialize problems a little bit, if you choose to read it that way. For some people, lots of seemingly important problems are trivial; it might not feel that way when you're tightly wrapped up in them, but they really are.
Otherwise, I think the rest of the song (the 'pep talk') was influenced by Kat's comments last week about why people create music - thanks Kat!
Which seems like a pretty good segue, if you ask me ;)
I think there are about 3 big, possibly interconnected, reasons why I make music: drive, esteem, connection.
Drive: you know that feeling you get when you've been working seemingly forever without a break, and all you do when you get home is chores? I get a touch of that feeling when I've gone too long without making music. Regardless of whether things in my life are going great at the time, or not so great. That desire, that drive, does well up on its own, and giving in to it just starts the endorphins a-flowin'. After reading that article I linked to last week, I suspect that some of this drive is also satisfied from playing games like Rock Band - but now we're drifting into 'playing' vs. 'creating' (and while I think that creating can satisfy the playing urge, and vice-versa, it's an exploration I'm not that interested in at the moment).
Esteem: I believe this is a big one for me, and I'm sure that it must at least partially feed into Drive.
When I played music live with Jill as Kitty Smack, I got a huge ego boost from feeling like I was living a secret life, like I had an alternate ego - like a superhero. If life or work seemed dull, I could always glean some satisfaction from feeling like I was part of something underground and cool, that I had a whole creative aspect in my secret world. Having grown up identifying myself as a nerd, having fantasies of self-esteem through comic books and music is a fairly routine process, I think. A comfort thing.
I think music-making also used to be a substitution for other things I couldn't have. I never really dreamed about playing huge stadiums, but when I was younger, I did use to fantasize that someday, somewhere, young lovers would be young loving to my music. Not to inspire it, but just to be in the background. Weird, I know, but it was a big thing for a long time; I think I was associating music with 'living,' the way young, romantic, inspired people do.
And another reason: I'd be lying if I said I didn't like attention :)
Connection: not as strong as the previous two, but connected a bit with esteem, I think. If something's bothering me and I manage to express it in a song, I like if someone's able to tell me they've felt that way too. Just nice to make a connection.
Another one I just thought of, that goes along with this: to make someone cry. That'd be awesome. No, really. I mean it. Call it sadistic if you like, I'll own up to it. Yeah. Cry real tears.
Now, there may be a 4th option here, as well, only I think it's connected with the three above: legacy. I'm not really scared of dying, so much as I'm scared of being forgotten. That part bothers me. Part of me thinks that if I leave enough music behind me, then part of me will still exist into the future, and people will care about who I was.
Which is pretty futile, when you think about it. How many young people these days don't even know who David Bowie is any more? And that's with fame already attached. Me, I can make a bunch of mp3's, give them away on the internet for a little while. A few people download them. After I'm gone, those songs will eventually get cleaned off of whatever servers they were on, and then that'll be it. No trace of me. My only hope would be some CBC Music Archives project or something, at best.
And any form of recognition during your time, even! I'm grateful that home recording has become such that almost anyone can do it. But that makes it that much harder for anything to stand out, too :) In popular music these days, try thinking of an 'idol' act like there used to be. Where's the modern-day equivalent of The Rolling Stones, a Morrissey, a Bob Dylan, a Madonna, a Radiohead? Bands like Death Cab for Cutie, or Deadsy, or The Birthday Massacre, or The Postal Service are larger-than-life icons for me, but chances are, they mean very little to you - simply because you have your own idols, separate than mine.
(heh...remember what I said at the beginning about seemingly important problems being trivial? This is probably a good example ;)
"Loss and pain are here to be with you again.
You will find these trials grow bigger in your mind.
Inflating
Expanding
Engrossing
Demanding
Like an expert
Sudoku
Work through it
I know you
Can."
There was a wind noise effect on the Moog called "Windy Night," which I played around with and named "Windy Light." Complex, I know. How do these artistic types do it.
I recorded the melody as a rough demo a while back, and Tuesday morning, went to add drums to it. My normal habit of 'bass and snare' followed by a constant hi-hat wasn't working out for me, so it forced me to try something new. I ended up using 4 different tracks on the QY-70 for the drums, each doing a different bit. I then added a phaser to it, which I think makes it sound a lot more interesting. It's an approach I'd like to try more in the future...especially turning one track off, then back on and turn another off, etc (a tiny bit of what I mean happens at the end of the song, when the programming reaches its end).
I'd like to share two links with you that I've found while browsing around the internet. The first is an interview with Daniel Clowes, who at some point talks about the effect of cartoonists spending so much of their time isolated at a drawing board: click here (via neilalien).
The other link is a longer article talking about the upcoming Beatles Rock Band game. There are some very interesting thoughts in there about a universal desire to create music, as well as reasons why Rock Band and Guitar Hero players get so much flak from some people: click here (via Robert W. Getz).
The reason I include these is that, due to a project like this, I'm forced more than ever to examine why it is that I make music. I know I have a strong drive to do so, but I don't quite completely understand it. Daniel Clowes cartoons as a way of making sense of the world; while lyrics can help with that sometimes, writing music does not do that for me. Yet I will still happily isolate myself to work on songs, mixes, etc.
There are a lot of famous musicians that, in their interviews, always say something along the lines of "if this wasn't my career, I would still be doing this for free" (similar quotes are attributed to actors, painters, writers, cartoonists, etc). I like to flatter myself into thinking I'm the other side of that coin, the proof of an idle claim.
But as to why? While it's tempting to say something romantic like "Because We Must!", I'm being serious. At any rate, it's something for another post. But in the meantime, I'd be pleased to hear from anyone, musician or non-, with any insights of their own (that is: PLEASE COMMENT!).
I kind of see this song taking place from a girl's point of view for some reason, even though the notions of regret and the delusional idea that the grass is always greener on the other side are not gender specific. Nevertheless, I almost see a Veruca Salt style of singing (particularly their cover of Depeche Mode's "Somebody").
I also originally thought a piano line would be the main part of the music, but once I had the chords, I stumbled onto this voice on the Triton, and liked it this way a whole lot better. Reminds me of the music for an old background site from The Birthday Massacre for some reason: http://www.nothingandnowhere.com
"That smile could have been mine
That fire should have been mine
These pictures could have been mine
What was someone else's should have been mine
We don't foresee these regrets at the time
There's plenty standing in line There's problems more serious than mine
Yeah, I'll keep that notion in mind"
I originally thought of the tune for 27 as a rock song with guitars, but since I was in the middle of moving, ended up exhaustedly recording it with the QY-70 instead.
Today I set up my old Boss pedals again (3 distortions, flange, tremelo, and a digital delay), and happily re-recorded the tune (even vocals).
Drums: I just didn't feel like programming them, so I did them 'live' (one pass on the QY with drum and bass, another pass with cymbals...I eq'd the cymbals a bit on the low end and added reverb because as they were, they sounded really thin).
Maybe I went a little too ape-shit with the distortion. But I haven't had that much fun with my guitar in years :)
